This can also keep others from meddling in your business and potentially causing more tension. “ boundaries around what you're telling your friends and family about this break so that everyone is on the same page and there's no negative gossiping and rumors,” suggests Suwinyattichaiporn. might want to consider keeping your break private, or at least coming to an agreement on what exactly you’re going to share with others.
So talk with your partner about whether this space involves communicating with each other regularly, not at all, or somewhere in between.
“It might be healthy for partners to take a break if they need some space to do their own personal growth and the relationship is too triggering for them,” she says. It might also be a good idea to set rules for exactly how much space you’ll give each other, says Schewitz. It might sound easier to play it by ear, but setting super concrete expectations can prevent a world of hurt on both ends. “Decide if either partner will be allowed to date others and how much (if anything) you will be sharing with each other,” she suggests, adding that couples might also want to designate a specific check-in date to touch base about the status of your paused relationships. If you both consent to dating other people during this time, Brito recommends being specific about your comfort levels and needs. Establish clear and consensual boundariesĪgreeing on what your expectations are and what you’re comfortable with regarding the break is just as important as agreeing on the necessity of it.
“ unhealthy when one of the partners wants to actually terminate the relationship but doesn't have the courage to break up, so they opt for ‘taking a break’ and offer false promises like ‘We'll get back together,’” says Suwinyattichaiporn, adding that using a break as a cover for an actual breakup is narcissistic and can have a negative psychological impact on the other partner. Tara podcast, encourages partners to dig deep and make sure they actually still want to continue the partnership and aren’t just using a break to mask a desire to break up. complain about their job everyday? Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, professor of sexual communication at California State University Fullerton and host of the Luvbites by Dr. Are you really in need of some extra space and time for self-improvement, or are you just tired of hearing your S.O. Prior to setting boundaries and rules for a relationship break, you and your partner should be completely honest with yourselves-and each other-about whether you both agree that taking the break is the healthiest thing for your relationship. If you’re in need of some ideas to help jumpstart this process, here are some expert-approved rules for taking a break in a relationship.ġ.Decide if a break is actually the best option Are you okay with each of you going on dates or having sex with other people? Would you prefer to check in with each other each week, or give yourselves space? These, and many more, are important questions to sort out with your partner as you’re discussing what you want to get out of your time apart. Once you and your partner have evaluated whether taking a break is right for your relationship, establishing boundaries and expectations for that time apart is crucial. “For example, if someone in the partnership is offered a job in another state, taking a break may give both partners a chance to assess if they are ready to deepen their relationship and move together.” “Taking a break in a relationship can help couples gauge if they want to commit further to their partners,” she says. If you and your partner are facing a big life change or decision, spending some time apart might give you both clarity on your vision for the future, according to licensed clinical social worker Laura J. Whether your disagreements happen over dishes left in the sink or one of you not having your emotional needs met, taking time apart can allow things to cool off and help both partners gain some much-needed perspective. Play icon The triangle icon that indicates to playįor couples who find themselves going through a bit of a rough patch, Schewitz says that a break may be a chance to get off “the emotional roller coaster of conflict” and help partners reevaluate whether or not the relationship is truly benefiting them.
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